Our Way to Fall
by greer
Summary: It's been a full year since the Big Breakup...
1. chapter 1

NB: The characters/places that are recognizable as BSC characters/places are the property of Ann M. Martin. The title is from the Yo La Tengo song of the same name. "Moon River" lyrics are by Johnny Mercer. (I think.)  
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"Put in your order for pancakes, Mary Anne!" Sharon, my stepmother, called up the stairs.  
  
I rolled over in my bed, snuggling under my quilt. Ah, yes, breakfast. Time to eat and head off to Stoneybrook High School, or SHS, as we all referred to it.  
  
"Three, please!" I called back. I sighed and pushed off my covers and headed off into the bathroom to take a quick shower. Once that was taken care of, I put on the khaki miniskirt, knee-high black boots, and soft gray sweater with peasant flower embroidery I'd carefully laid out the night before.   
  
I headed down the stairs into the sunny kitchen area of our converted barnhouse. After losing our beloved old farmhouse in a fire last year, we were devastated; but having such a great place to live in on the same property is starting to make things a little easier. Sometimes, a fresh start is good.  
  
My father raised his eyebrows a bit at the sight of my boots, but Sharon merely smiled and told me how nice I looked. Two years ago, my father never would have let me even _think_ of buying a miniskirt. Sharon had really changed him.  
  
My father cleared his throat and the newspaper made a rustling sound as he folded it neatly and put it on the table. Sharon and I looked at him expectantly.  
  
"Mary Anne," he started. "How are your friends?"  
  
By friends, he meant Kristy. Kristy, the one least likely, was caught smoking. While Kristy was--and is--bossy and sometimes unladylike (that kind of thing is important to my father), she was someone parents trusted.   
  
But still, she was my friend; I wasn't about to badmouth her to anyone. Not even my father.  
  
"Oh, they're fine," I said, then quickly shoved into my mouth a bite of the pancakes that Sharon had just laid in front of me.  
  
Dad raised his eyebrows, but dropped the subject. Sharon called his attention to a particularly offensive item in the newspaper, and they began a spirited discussion. I finished off my pancakes with a bit more speed than usual. Sometimes, I like to sit around and talk with my family. Today, however, I just wanted to get out of there.  
  
  
Once I'd finished, I grabbed my corduroy messenger bag and headed off to school. On the way there, I met up with Stacey, Claudia, and Alan Gray (Claudia's boyfriend). SHS was closer to my house than SMS, and I was glad for the shorter walk.  
  
When we reached the building, the first person I saw was Logan. Logan Bruno, my ex-boyfriend. I'd hoped, when I broke up with him, that we'd remain friends; but Logan made is so difficult. Everytime we locked eyes, he immediately put on a hurt, puppy-dog look. Today was no exception. I looked away. This attitude of his was much harder to accept than the actual breakup.   
  
Claudia put her hand on my shoulder. "Mary Anne, are you okay?"  
  
I managed a quick smile. "Yeah, I'm fine." It had been nearly a whole year since our breakup. Since then, Logan had dated--and broken up with--Emily Bernstein. Why was he still acting like he wished we could get back together?  
  
The bell rang, signaling it was time to go inside. We all filed in, talking and laughing. Stacey was talking about her plans for the weekend. She was going to go into the city to see her father and her boyfriend, Ethan. It was their six-month anniversary since getting back together.  
  
Alan and Claudia had plans too, plans to go to an opening at the Stoneybrook Museum. Claudia had been a trustee there since she helped solve a mysterious burglary that had occurred there.  
  
I sighed inwardly. It seemed that everyone was happily paired up except me.  
  
And Logan. 


	2. chapter 2

I shut my geometry book and slid it into my bag. Math was finally over and it was time for lunch. As I was walking out of the classroom, Logan came up behind me.  
  
"Hi, Mary Anne," he said. This was the first time he'd spoken to me since I babysat at his house in August.  
  
"Oh, um, hi, Logan. Um, how are you?" I hated uncomfortable situations, and this one definitely ranked in the list of uncomfortable situations.  
  
"Fine."  
  
I gulped. "Oh, well, I have to go meet Claudia at her locker! Bye!" I hated lying. I hardly ever did it. But I just had to do it.  
  
I went to Claudia's locker after my own to placate myself, to make myself feel like I hadn't lied to Logan. But she wasn't there. I saw her a little ways down the hall, walking arm-in-arm with Alan.  
  
They were headed towards to lunchroom, so I followed them, but I figured that I shouldn't butt in so I didn't hurry to catch up to them or anything. When I got to the cafeteria, I saw that Claudia and Alan had sat down with Erica. I sat down too.  
  
"Guess what just happened," I started.  
  
"What?" Claudia said. "You seem kind of... upset or something."  
  
"Well, I am. Logan just came up to me, out of NOWHERE, and started talking to me."  
  
"What's wrong with talking?" Alan asked. Alan had not had any girlfriends besides Claudia, so I forgave him for being so naive about breakups.  
  
I sighed. Luckily, Erica saved the day. "It's a girl thing."  
  
A meaningless answer, but it worked. Kristy sat down then with her tray, which had today's hot lunch: a hamburger and french fries. She popped the tab on a Coke and said, "I agree with Alan, for once."  
  
"Kristy, how would you react if Bart came up to you and starting chatting away like nothing had happened?" Claudia asked.  
  
Kristy winced. "Point taken."  
  
Just then, Stacey came up. "Oh, hi guys," she said breathlessly. "I was just talking to Ethan on my cell phone and you'll never believe--" She noticed Kristy at that moment and broke off. "Oh, well, it'll have to wait. I, um, have to go tutor Dorianne Wallingford in math this lunch period. Later." She headed off to the opposite side of the cafeteria.  
  
Kristy sighed. "Do you think she REALLY has to go tutor Dori, or does she just not want to eat with me?"  
  
Claudia shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Well, Kristy, I don't know."  
  
This had to be hard for Claudia. I put my hand on her shoulder. "She'll come around."  
  
"Just like you, Kristy. It's been years since you poured Yoohoo down my shirt!" Well, you can't blame a boy for trying, I guess.  
  
Kristy rolled her eyes. She momentarily turned back into Kristy Thomas we all knew and loved.  
  
Cary pulled the chair next to mine from out under the table. "Anybody want anything?" he asked, looking at me. I shook my head no. Claudia put in a candy bar request.  
  
Everyone seemed to have forgotten about Logan. But when he caught me eye as he was sitting at a table with Lew Greenberg and some other jock-type guys, I knew that he hadn't forgotten about me. 


	3. chapter 3

I buried myself under my yellow comforter. I wanted to stay here for the rest of the weekend. Forget about Logan, forget about Stacey's hatred for Kristy... I just wanted to pretend that everything was okay; everything with the former members of the BSC was just how it should be.  
  
I wasn't bragging when I thought to myself that all my friends go to me when they had problems... who was there for me to go to? Sharon, maybe, and my dad, but both of them were out today. They had went to an estate sale with Kristy's parents. Mr. and Mrs. Brewer had gotten them hooked. They loved traipsing around someone dead's home, looking at seventy-year-old wall sconces.  
  
I sounded bitter, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't help feeling like Poor Mary Anne, alone and helpless against the advances of One Logan Bruno.  
  
Just as I was starting to feel REALLY sorry for myself, the phone rang. I let it ring. I wasn't about the get out of bed. Then I heard the machine click on in the hall, and I heard...  
  
Dawn's voice!  
  
My stepsister. Just who I needed to talk to at this moment. I jumped out of bed and sped into the hallway, hoping to pick up the phone before she finished her message.  
  
"So, mom, Mary Anne, call me back soon; I'd love to--"  
  
"DAWN!" I shouted. I even surprised myself. I wasn't really the shouting type.  
  
"Mary Anne?" she said, with a hint of laughter in her voice.  
  
"Laughter like pealing bells" it had said in the Palo City Post about Dawn. It was certainly true.  
  
"Dawn, you have no idea how glad I am to hear from you. I am having the worst time," I said, sighing.  
  
"What's wrong, sis?" she asked, concerned.  
  
"Well, Logan won't leave me alone, Stacey refuses to be civil to Kristy, and ugh, it's all just a mess."  
  
"Wow, Mary Anne. I know how you hate to see two of your closest friends fighting. I remember how much Claudia and Stacey's fight affected you. And Logan is totally not being fair to you." Dawn had pinpointed exactly how I was feeling.  
  
I nodded, even thought Dawn couldn't see that over the phone. "I just feel so... powerless, you know? Like, I can't change how Stacey feels about Kristy, and I can't change how Logan feels about me."  
  
"That's right, Mary Anne, you can't. And because of that, you can't let those things get to you so much," Dawn said sagely.  
  
"But I can't help it!" I cried helplessly. "Everything about everyone else's life gets to me."  
  
"And that's why everyone loves you so much. You're always ready to lend a sympathetic and empathetic ear."  
  
I sighed. "But it sure doesn't feel good."  
  
"I know. Sometimes, what people like about you isn't so great for your soul," Dawn said.  
  
"I guess."  
  
"But look sis, Logan will move on eventually. And maybe you could talk to Stacey or something," she suggested.  
  
"You know how I hate confronting people," I reminded her.  
  
"Don't think of it as confronting. Think of it as... a nudge in the right direction," she said brightly.  
  
"I'll try, I guess."  
  
"Oh damn, Gracie's crying. I'm supposed to be baby-sitting, because Mrs. Bruen is doing the shopping, Carol and Dad are out, Jeff is at a friend's, so I've really got to go. But I do have one suggestion for you," she said mysteriously.  
  
"What's that?" I asked, intriguied.  
  
"Go to the movies!" she exclaimed.  
  
"Huh? Dawn, no offense, but I don't really want to see people right now." Dawn definitely had her own way of looking at things.  
  
"By yourself, silly. Just get caught up in story, in the atmosphere. Forget about your problems for a little while," she said.  
  
"Well..." I wasn't sure I had enough self-assurance to go to the movies by myself.  
  
"Just think about. Look, I've really got to go. Gracie's crying up a storm and she may bust if I don't tend to her soon. Love ya, sis! Tell mom I love her."  
  
And with that, my sister hung up.   
  
Even though it sounded a little frightening to my shaky self-confidence, Dawn's suggestion was a good one. So I pulled out the movie listings from the Stoneybrook News, and went down the list of what was playing. Nothing seemed to appeal to me, until I got to the listings for the Embassy Theater. I remembered that Stacey, when Kristy's parents were getting married and we had to take care of all those kids, had taken her charges to see "Mary Poppins" there. Well, the theater was playing "Breakfast at Tiffany's" this weekend, and that was just absolutely perfect.  
  
While my favorite Hepburn movie was "Roman Holiday," "Breakfast at Tiffany's" was a close second. Just hearing the opening music (Moon River) was enough to make my eyes well up. And I've always wanted to see it on the big screen, and being alone wasn't enough to stop me.  
  
So I hopped on my bike and headed downtown, ready to absorb myself into the New York universe of Holly Golightly and Paul Varjak. 


	4. chapter 4

"How many?" asked the guy in the ticket booth. He was about seventeen, with shaggy brown hair and bright blue eyes. He was rather cute, but not my type at all.  
  
"Umm, one," I answered, shifting my weight a little.  
  
"All by yourself, huh? Can't understand why, but all right." He handed me my tickets and smiled at me. I blushed and hurried off to the refreshment stand.   
  
I wasn't as shy as I used to be, but still, being the center of attention wasn't easy for me. I knew that people like Kristy revelled in it, but I just couldn't understand why. It could make you feel special in some way, but it just put you on the stop.  
  
The mere encounter with the ticket boy had made me feel strange. So I ordered myself a medium coke and a small popcorn, hoping to stop thinking and just be able to eat and absorb myself in the film.  
  
It was a matinee showing, and there wasn't a lot of people in the theater. I'd always liked to sit in the middle, and I was able to get the center seat in the exactly middle row. I smiled to myself as I sunk into my seat. At least something was going right.  
  
The opening notes of "Moon River" began. Audrey was wandering on the screen alone, taking a bite out of a danish. Something about the opening of the movie has always struck me. There was something just terrifically lonely about it. I reached into my purse for my travel package of tissues, preparing for the tears that I knew that were going to start flowing any minute.  
  
But I never got a chance to cry. Someone sat down next to me. A shock of sandy blonde hair, a trace of a knowing grin always on their face...  
  
Cary Retlin. "Hey, Mary Anne," he said, grinning a little.  
  
"Oh, um, hi, Cary. Didn't know you liked this kind of movie," I said, stumbling through my words.  
  
I knew Cary, sure; but apart from the whole Cokie plot (he had helped me get my revenge on Cokie for being horrible to me on regular basis), I'd never been alone with him like this before.  
  
"There's a lot of things you don't know about me," he said, not in a mean way at all. In a way he sounded... wistful?  
  
I smiled, to show that I was okay with Cary sitting with me and that I wasn't a total social freak. "Um, I guess not."  
  
Just then, someone from behind us told us, rather rudely, to "SHUT UP!" I sunk down in my seat, embarrassed. Cary smiled a little and shrugged. Cary, on the other hand, didn't seem to be bothered at all.   
  
For the next two hours, I tried to get involved in the movie, but I just couldn't. I had to keep on looking over at Cary. Sitting there, calmly; Cary just distracted me from the picture. At one point, he asked me if there was anything else I wanted from the refreshment stand. When I answered, "Um, no, not right now," I was so flustered that I forgot to lower my voice. Mr. Silence behind us started to get angry again. I sat back and looked at the ceiling, wondering why I was just so damn _shy_.  
  
Even though I wasn't as involved in the movie as I could have been, by the end, I was bawling. Cary looked concered. "Are you okay?" he asked me.  
  
"Yes," I said, sniffling through my tears. "I always cry at movies."  
  
He nodded and looked back at the screen.  
  
"Moon river, two drifters, off to see the world & there's such a lot of world to see." How anyone could not be absolutely bawling at that is beyond me. 


	5. chapter 5

As the house lights went up, Cary turned to me. "So, Mary Anne, you live on Burnt Hill Road, right?"  
  
I nodded.  
  
"Well, so do I, but closer to the outskirts of Stoneybrook."  
  
"Really?" I asked. "I never knew that before."  
  
Cary shrugged. "So, neighbor, how about a leisurely stroll through scenic Stoneybrook?"  
  
"If it's not too much trouble..."  
  
Cary smiled. "Nahh."  
  
The Embassy is just beyond Cabbages and Kings (a health-food restaurant that Dawn frequents when she's in a town) on Athens Road. There are two ways to get to my house from there, one by turning onto Rosedale Road, then going on Bradford Court, going down Elm Street, and then getting on Burnt Hill Road, or simply follow Rosedale until the turn for Burnt Hill. I hoped Cary would choose the longer way, because the other involved going by Logan's house. But I didn't want to say anything, because after a year, I should be able to go by my ex-boyfriend's house.  
  
But not every ex-boyfriend is a total pain in the neck about being broken up, and after a year, still wants to get back together.  
  
I didn't want to have to explain all that to Cary.  
  
Since it _was_ short, and more logical, Cary chose the Rosedale to Burnt Hill Path. I sighed.   
  
Cary was just telling me about some amusing trouble that his younger brothers, Steig and Benson, had gotten in back in Oak Hill when I saw it. Logan's house.  
  
And Logan was out in front, mounting his bike. "Hey," Cary called to him.  
  
"Oh, hello," he said frostily. "Mary Anne?"   
  
"Yeah?" I called back.  
  
"I'll call you."  
  
I hurried on. Cary caught up with me. "What was that about?" he said, raising one eyebrow. The patented Cary eyebrow, no less.  
  
"Oh," I sighed. "It's Logan. He won't leave me alone."  
  
"But haven't you been broken up for quite a long time?" he said smoothly.  
  
I shrugged. "Makes no difference to him."  
  
"And didn't he go out with Emily Bernstein a few times?"  
  
"Look, I don't really want to talk about it. Let's change the subject, okay?" I closed my eyes in frustration.  
  
"As you wish."   
  
The rest of the trek passed uneventfully. We said goodbye at the entrance to my barn-house and I saw Sharon in the front hall, looking for something.  
  
"What are you missing?" I asked.  
  
"Oh, my car keys. Once again," she said, laughing a little.   
  
"I wish Dawn were here," I said wistfully. "She seems to have a sixth sense for finding the things you misplace."  
  
"Me too, sweetie, me too." She squeezed my shoulder. "Say, that wasn't Logan walking you home, was it?"  
  
"Nah. That's Cary. But Logan did give me some trouble on the way."  
  
"Forget about the car keys. I don't feel like doing the grocery shopping anyway. Why don't we have some herbal tea?" she suggested.  
  
"That is just what I need." Before moving in with Dawn and Sharon, I'd never even given a thought to herbal tea. That's just one of the things that changed over seventh and eighth grade. One of the smallest things, really.  
  
So I told Sharon all about how Logan just wouldn't leave me alone. "Maybe it just doesn't seem real to him yet," she said thoughtfully.  
  
"But Sharon, it's been a year and he _has_ dated other people."  
  
"But you haven't."  
  
Sharon was right. Logan still felt he had some sort of hold over me.  
  
But he didn't. Not at all. 


	6. chapter 6

Sharon and I talked to two hours, just catching up. By the time we finished, the tea was long gone and it was time to start dinner.  
  
Sharon stretched and yawned as she stood up. "Why don't we just order in from Uncle Ed's tonight?"  
  
I smiled. "That'd be great, Sharon." Uncle Ed's is a Chinese restaurant in downtown Stoneybrook that is, in my opinion anyway, the best in the area.  
  
"Let's see," she said, consulting a menu. "Spring rolls, bean curd with vegetables... what else?"  
  
I thought for a minute, thinking of a dish both my dad and I would like. "Sesame chicken?"  
  
  
"Alright."  
  
My stomach grumbled at the thought. I flopped down on the couch and turned on the tv, waiting for the food to arrive.  
  
My dad came home at that moment. He gave Sharon a kiss, and I smiled. It's been a year now, and we've been through some rough spots, and I do miss Dawn, but at the end of day, I love being a part of my new family. "I'm starved. What's for dinner?"  
  
"Sesame chicken, for you carnivores," Sharon said, smiling.  
  
"Sounds complicated to cook," my dad joked.  
  
After dinner, I was wiped. So I headed off to bed early. When I woke the next morning, dressing in brown cords and pink long-sleeved rugby shirt, the sun was shining, alighting the November morning. I swore to myself that I would just not let Logan get to me.  
  
Right before homeroom officially started, Cary stopped in front of my desk. "Hey," he said.  
  
"Hi, what's up?"  
  
"Do you want to go to the Thanksgiving dance with me?" he said smoothly.  
  
I was surprised. "Sure, I'd love to."   
  
He rapped the back of his hand on my desk softly. "Great," he replied. Then the PA system crackled to life and Cary had to go back to his seat.  
  
Kristy, who was sitting next to me, had heard the whole thing. "Mr. Eyebrow himself," she whispered, grinning.  
  
"Yep," I said. "And I can't think of anyone else I'd rather go with.  
  
"Well, I heard..." Ms. Bates, our homeroom teacher, gave Kristy a Look that rivaled the one Kristy herself gave to tardy BSC members. She didn't get a chance to finish her sentence, but I couldn't help wondering just what Kristy had heard. 


	7. chapter 7

The whole school day, we ran around ragged. Kristy had a special meeting she was attending for the SHS sports program at lunch, so she didn't get to tell me what she had heard then. But she was going to come over to my house for the afternoon to work on a history project with me, so I figured she'd tell me that afternoon. Still, I was in suspense.  
  
As soon as we were out the door, Claudia walking with us, I said abruptly, "Okay Kristy, out with it. What was it that you heard?"  
  
Claudia looked justifiably confused, and Kristy looked amused. "Whoa, who's the forceful one now?"  
  
I rolled my eyes. 'C'mon Kristy."  
  
She smiled. "Alright. Well, I heard that Logan was going to ask you to the dance."  
  
I stopped dead in my tracks. "What?"  
  
She shrugged. "It's just a rumor, after all. And you know how fast things spread and get out of hand in Stoneybrook."  
  
Claudia nodded. "That's very true."  
  
"I guess so. But why..." I stopped myself. Of course. Logan wanted me back. He'd been making it perfectly obvious the past few weeks.  
  
"It's not like he can do anything now, though," Kristy reminded me. "He's too late."  
  
"What are you talking about, Kristy?" Claudia asked.   
  
"Ask Mary Anne," she said. "Or, shall I say, the future Mrs. Retlin?"  
  
I rolled my eyes.  
  
"WHAT?!" Claudia exclaimed. "You're going to the dance with Cary?!"  
  
"Is that bad?" I asked nervously.  
  
"No, no," she answered, smiling. "You can double-date with Alan and me."  
  
Kristy snorted. Cary and Alan were not, to put it lightly, her favorite people.  
  
"Oh, come on," Claudia said, putting her hand on Kristy's shoulder. "Lighten up!"  
  
"Hey, if you want, you can invite someone and we could make it a triple," I joked. Kristy wouldn't spend more time with Cary and Alan than necessary, even if they were our dates.  
  
Now it was Kristy's turn to roll her eyes. "Yeah, right. Anyway, I don't think that Logan will be so happy about your date, Mary Anne."  
  
"Oh, who cares?" I said, more brusquely than I expected. "It's been over for a long time between us."  
  
"So you don't care about him at all?" Kristy asked, searching my eyes for the truth.  
  
I hesitated. "Well, I'll always care about him, a little. But I have no intention of ever dating him again."  
  
"Well," Kristy said, pleased. "I think I have a Great Idea."  
  
"Oh no!" Claudia cried out in mock horror as we arrived at her house. "Luckily, I get to escape. Stay strong, Mary Anne!"  
  
"Bye!" I called. Turning to Kristy, I said, "What's your idea?"  
  
"I know a way to get Logan off your back."  
  
"It's not mean, is it?" I said nervously. I may not have wanted to date Logan, but he didn't deserve to be punished.  
  
"Oh no," she said. "Nothing like that." 


	8. chapter 8

It was deja vu. With Geometry over, it was time for lunch. Once again, Logan came up behind me and wanted to speak with me.  
  
"Mary Anne," he said softly.  
  
I sighed. "What do you want, Logan?" What was the point of making attempts to contact me if all he wanted was the impossible--for us to get back together?  
  
"I want--" he hesitated. "I don't really want anything."  
  
"Could have fooled me," I mumbled under my breath. I started to feel slightly guilty. I was being so mean to Logan. It wasn't like me at all. I took a deep breath and vowed to be nicer to him. What was it about our current state that made me so irritable towards him?  
  
"What?" he asked, genuinely confused.  
  
"Nothing, nothing. Look, I'm really hungry. Can't we continue this another time?" So much for promises to myself.  
  
"No, this can't wait," he said, putting his hand on my arm and looking in my eyes. His hand felt like a thousand spiders. I pushed his hand off and looked away.  
  
"I want you to know," he continued. "That, regardless of what you may have heard, I am not going to ask you to the dance. In fact, I've already got a date."  
  
This was news to me. Good news. "I'm happy for you, Logan," I said sincerely. "But the cafeteria is calling me." It really was too. Geometry always felt like the longest period of the day. Each day I entered the cafeteria ravenous with hunger.  
  
I turned and left the classroom. Cary was waiting for me. "Hey," he said, with no trace of a smirk in his smile. "I was thinking, do you want to go to the Rosebud?"  
  
"When?" I asked, shifting my weight from one foot to the other.  
  
"Right now," he said. "We can go off-campus for lunch now, remember?"  
  
"Oh yeah," I said. Back in the days of SMS, only kids who hated the cafeteria food enough to break the rules, like Shawna Riverson, left the campus for lunch.   
  
We went out the main door of SHS, watching the kids with cars zoom off, obviously with the same idea. But since the Rosebud Cafe was just down the street, we didn't need a car.   
  
We reached it in about two minutes, which felt like one because Cary kept me thoroughly entertained with a story about how Alan had gotten his hand stuck in the vending machine and Claudia had to go run through the halls to find a janitor. Cary's descriptions were priceless. I recalled Kristy saying how Cary was a serious writer once. It certainly seemed to be true.  
  
At the Rosebud, Cary didn't even try to order for me. He never made decisions for me, and he listened to what I had to say. He made me feel totally at ease and in control.  
  
***  
  
After the great lunch, the rest of the day was anticlimatic. Until after school, when Kristy joined Claudia on the sidewalk. I arrived a few seconds later, and I couldn't help wondering what Kristy was doing there. A friend of theirs, Carly, was joining them in the conversation.  
  
I heard a snippet of it before they saw me. "I can't believe you, Kristy. Are you sure she's going to be okay with it?" Carly said, sounding worried.  
  
"Well," she said. "I've liked him for a while, you know."  
  
Claudia shook her head. "I don't think it's a good idea."  
  
I made my entrance then. "What's not a good idea?" I asked innocently.  
  
By the looks on their faces, I could tell that they didn't want me to know.  
  
Kristy took my arm. "C'mon, Mary Anne. Let's go for a walk."  
  
"Alright," I said uncertainly.  
  
Logan was off my back, Cary was wonderful--things were pretty near perfect. 


	9. chapter 9

Kristy stopped at Carle Playground and sat down on the swings. I sat down on the one next to her and joined her in pumping.  
  
"Mary Anne," she said. "Unlike me, you're super-sensitive."  
  
"Um, okay," I said, shrugging.  
  
"Well," she continued. "Then it shouldn't be a surprise to you, really. I mean, I've always liked Logan."  
  
I stopped pumping and looked her in the eye. "What are you saying, Kristy?"  
  
"I'm saying that I--"  
  
"Asked Logan to the dance," I finished for her.  
  
"Well, yeah," Kristy said, looking at me reproachfully.  
  
"Did he say yes?" I asked, holding my breath, pretending to watch Myriah and Gabbie Perkins intensely as they played in the distance.   
  
"Yeah," she said. "Are you okay with this?"  
  
"Of course," I snapped, surprising even myself with my irritation. "I mean," I said with more kindness in my voice. "He's my ex. I'm going with Cary. I mean, whatever. Better you than Cokie, right?"  
  
Kristy seemed relieved. "Besides, I mean, maybe you weren't right for Logan."  
  
I looked at her. "What do you mean?"  
  
"He needs someone more forceful."  
  
I shrugged. "I guess." Truth be told, I wasn't really happy with this situation. First of all, Logan was my first love, even I was over him. Plus, it made me look at Kristy in a different light. Did this mean that for the whole time I was with Logan, Kristy was into him? The thought made me feel confused, and very alone. If I couldn't trust Kristy, who else was left?  
  
I began to feel tears developing. I choked them back as best as I could. Luckily, Gabbie and Myriah had spotted us and came over.  
  
"Hi, Mary Anne Spier and Kristy Thomas," Gabbie said cheerfully.  
  
"Hiya Gabbers," Kristy said. I nodded hello.  
  
Mrs. Perkins came up behind them, holding Laura's hand. "She's gotten so big," I said.  
  
"I know," Mrs. Perkins sighed. "She has so much energy now."  
  
"It's such a great age," I said. Kristy nodded in agreement.  
  
"Well," Mrs. Perkins said. "It'd be a lot easier with great baby-sitters like you girls were." She smiled ruefully.  
  
Kristy shrugged. "High school has been keeping us really busy."  
  
Seems like a lame excuse, I thought to myself. I wanted to get out of there. Everything was starting to remind me of Logan. I didn't want to think of Logan; I wanted to think of Cary. I had to get out of there.  
  
I stood up from my swing. "I have to go, um, start dinner. See you all later. Mrs. Perkins, you can always call me if you need a sitter. I'll call you tonight, Kristy."  
  
I rushed on home. 


	10. chapter 10

"Oh, Tiggy," I said into my cat's fur. "Why does everything have to be so complicated?"  
  
Tigger didn't have any answers. We sat there for a few moments, until Tigger heard my dad start to open his can of cat food. I swear, no matter where he is in the house, once Tigger hears the can opener, he is right there.  
  
I flopped onto my bed, staring at the ceiling. Kristy and Logan? I had thought, for a little while anyway, that she might be after him back when we first broke up. But she had always said that she wouldn't do it.  
  
And now here she was, taking Logan to the dance. My mind flashes through all the dances we went to together: the Remember September Dance, which was my first date EVER and I was soo mortified when my shoe flew off and I hit someone on the head; the Halloween Hop, the Winter Wonderland dance; the Final Fling.  
  
The phone rang out in the hallway. I sighed. I wasn't really in the mood to talk to anyone.  
  
Sharon called up the stairs. "Mary Anne, phone for you!"  
  
I got the phone from outside my door and picked it up. "Hello?" I said.  
  
"Mary Anne? Cary."  
  
The voice, the name... they all hit me with a jolt of energy. Cary. Of course. Why was I sitting here, thinking about Logan, when I had a great guy myself.  
  
I smiled, and listened to Cary on the other end of the telephone. Everything was going to be just fine. Why hadn't I realized that earlier?  
  
***  
  
"So, Mary Anne," Kristy said at lunch the next day. I was sitting with Kristy and Erica. Claudia had decided to sit with Stacey, who was joined by Rachel and Barbara. Erica, Rachel, and Barbara seemed to be a part of our group now, just not all together. I liked it better when it was the BSC, together.  
  
But the BSC didn't exist anymore.  
  
"What?" I asked, spooning some strawberry yogurt in my mouth.  
  
"Seeing Mrs. Perkins at the playground yesterday got me thinking..." she began.  
  
"Did you get a Great Idea?" I said, with more than a note of caution in my voice.  
  
"Yes," she said. It figured. Kristy _was_ the Idea Machine, after all. "I think we should put up posters around town, you know, saying hey, we can still sit for your children. Like, Claudia's room could be a central service line..."  
  
I shook my head. "Kristy, come on. We broke up the BSC for a reason, you know."  
  
Kristy looked hurt. "Well, you don't have to be rude about it."  
  
I closed my eyes. "I'm not. I'm just saying that I don't think anyone else wants that responsiblity anymore."  
  
Kristy shrugged. Luckily, before we got into a fight (and I do hate confrontations), Carly changed the subject.  
  
"So Kristy," she said. "What's this I hear about you and Logan?"  
  
Erica raised her eyebrows and Kristy shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Carly was someone we didn't see much of at SMS, so I guess she really didn't know much about Logan's relationship with me.  
  
"Well," she said. "I asked him to the dance, and we're going together."  
  
Erica's eyebrows went even higher, and she searched my face for a reaction. I smiled to show her I was okay. "You never told me the details, Kristy. I want to hear all the gossip!" 


End file.
